When all you’ve known is all you’ve known the self awareness of it all is scary.
It’s being unfamiliar,
the uncertainty of the outcome,
all of it makes you feel a little insane.
The no control of safety. No knowledge of being in complete solitude.
A constant state of fight or flight but it’s always been fight.
Help was rejected 99% of the time so there’s no point in asking anymore.
Continuing to do things on my own was never a mindset of pride.
Feelings of being a burden wrongfully grew, venturing to those that gave some sort of affection, sense of stability, or the simplicity of it all was the goal to obtain but not without guidance.
It’s what happens when you’re forced to raise yourself, your family, unknowingly, unwilling, unconsciously.
Although i’ve held some resentment i know life was never meant to be easy.
Learning to rise from it all was the greatest lesson to obtain.
